Well, a lot has happened over the past couple of months. Lessons I have learnt, experiences gained. I promised myself that 2011 is going to be a better year for me, what with dealing with all those confidence issues I've been facing all this while. Yeah, somehow, along the course of Life, I have lost that confidence I once had when I was 14. That unshaken trust and belief that everything eventually falls into place, and that I should not worry about anything.
Trust can be betrayed, Faith can be shaken.
I have learnt so much in the past 10 years. Friends whom I have lost touch since primary and high school are back in my life again. And I am extremely grateful and glad for that! There are friends who grew up with me, and friends of whom conflicts happened in the past and placed some distance between us, but after all these years and when we all finally met up, it felt as if we are still good friends as ever. We grew up, and those banters gradually melted away. We are seeing each other as unique individuals, friends who once played wonderful roles in our lives and who are going to continue to paint our canvas of life with beautiful colors. And we chose to keep the good times. This is for you all, friends and buddies of primary and high school. :) I am so happy that we are all back in touch again! I hope that our friendship continues till the end of time.
And then there are fellow friends from the lion dance troupe I joined. Friends from my university days. And my fellow ex-colleagues. And friends whom I got to know through friends. And I have met one of the most amusing sifus ever. :) Needless to say, they are all companions walking with me on this path to the unknown future, breaking my fall when I tripped and giving me a kick in the ass whenever I was bowing out.
But of course, Life is a balance of Yin and Yang, of Light and Darkness, though we always choose to walk the path of Light. There are gains, there are losses too.
If there is one thing I have learnt, it is to give and care sincerely. And when we talk, to talk only good of others and nothing bad. Who are we to judge others, when Nature itself gives second chances to life? I admit, I myself have once fallen into the trap of judging others too fast too soon, of lashing stinging words at others when none of it affects my life one bit, and I slap my mouth big time for that. Some time alone and away for thoughts have placed me in a clearer position, and I hate myself for being judgmental, for being selfish. Now I know better. I vow to never be that 'me' of the past again.
Even though so, I guess there are still people out there who may try to bring you down. To stoke fire behind your back, to place you in such a position that you are rendered dumbfounded and confused. Well, I guess its ok if people chose to believe those words. As long as the conscience is clear, there is nothing to worry about. It is sad to lose friends that way, but if that's the way things happen to be, I rest my case.
Regardless, we move on in Life. There are always ups and downs, but being optimistic is a choice we make. :)
Here is a picture of lovely flowers, captured in Cameron Highlands. Specially dedicated to you all, dear friends of primary school, high school and university, and friends whom I have met outside of education varsities, who have made differences in my life! :)
Thank you all! :)
